happy new year? yah ryte…

well…
its gona b new year soon and im takin this opportunity to reflect….
coz alot n i mean alot has happened this year…

january-
had lots of trainin due to cheerobics…
fights n stuff…

february-
more trainings….
plus… we had to perform at jalan besar stadium….
valentines day…
made a huge card for syaza…
haha…
lalalala

march-
firstly, my bdae…
awesome…
had my cheer heats on tat day..
met syaza thr..
lenny dragged her to wish hapi bdae to me..
the magnies knew bcoz of tat card…
dang….
cheerobics finals…
we won…
3rd…
it was awesome….
it was my sis bdae….

april-
sports day i think…
i coached gandhi for theu routine..
haha..
found out sylvia likes me…
haha
kk..
watever..
got pushed in the pool at hong’s crib …
fully dressed whr thy just stared n laughed…
faren’s lawyer letter came coz she didn pay up the bill…..
watever…

may-
woke up one day n mom was goin crazy coz sis left the door wide open thru the nyte while she was asleep…
then she was kicked out frm the house…
i went boinkerz….
went to watch shasha compete in the dewa dewi pagent..
helped lenny hold a worshop for this curch..
it was a blast being an assistant coach for a day…
haha…
dolah bdae…
sabo him unda the block..
not me la.
his frens did…
saw ‘warriors on tv for PSC..
LENNY SHOCKED US WITH A SURPISE BDAE BASH…
it was awesome…

june-
went to mallacca
lenny resigned..
SAF annual bowling event
pierced my ear again..
mr chee farewell bbq..
pierced my tragus…
sis went to thailand…
o-level m.t

july-
fareed national atheletic event..
went down to watch it..
won PSC champions..
drill comp…
faught with a lot of teachers…
rachial harmony day…
speech day….
NDP preshow performance..

august-
national day…
p.o.p
went to MAGNUM CHEER WITH US workshop…
got sacked frm warriors…

september-
teachers day..
dance…
dikir..
modelling…

october-
went to see bangkok university…
went to magnum cum b.u bbq at NP….
malay m.t second paper…
o-level sci practical…

november-
O-LEVEL PAPERS…..

december-
work…
went to magnum trainin..
went to red camp..
attended IFC workshop..
passed my coaches exam…
christmas…

the whole year has been filled with memories..
both good and bad..
but its time for a new year..
so haf to leave the past behind n start a new…

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE…..

woohooo!!! my first gig!!!

my band manage to grab a slot in one upcomin gig in jan..
i reli hope its a success…
soo freaking excited man….
i reli reli reli cant wait….
i reli hope my band members can commit..
haiz…
im so excited..
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
cant wait to sing man!!!!
wooohooooooo……….

im happy.. i guess…

at last…. today is the final day of the IFC cheerleading coaches workshop… the camp is super great.. check out the pics.. love the instructors.. so kind.. well, the workshop was reli fun fun fun… i got a cert for attending it.. but wat i want most is the coaches cert.. the coaches workshop is brutal… we had to sit for hours n listen to lectures… my god… so long u noe.. wats the worst part is that we haf to pass the theory test.. the total marks is 80 n we haf to get at least 70. if not, fail… then practical we haf to get 15 out of 20… had our exam today… kinda hard.. coz it was reli confusing… somehow unclear.. but i did my best… after the exam.. we had to leave while they marked our papers… it was scary.. 2 hours of waiting,,, then, we went back to get our results… i was shivering and heart was pumping like crazy… lenny of course passed.. then magnies passed.. not all but alot la.. ain n redz passed too n reds… then wei cai got his result n i was even more nervous… coz he is just 1 name away from me.. after him.. eunice.. she passed too… then i was so scared.. my heart pumped harder.. if they didn call my name means i failed! then, “fairul!” i was like… alhamdullilah… i was praying like mad!! my dream come true.. im a coach now! a certified coach.. like.. WOW!…

after the results went home of course.. i was happy.. when i got home.. i wanted to share this happiness of mine with my mom.. but she was in the room.. i open the door to let her noe n u noe wat? she just asked me to keep quiet n get out.. all i wanted wasto tell her tat i passed.. hopin tat she wud be happy too… but instead i got nothin.. i tried to tell my sis but she is asleep… so, my happiness kinda subsided.. hais… its ok i guess..
coz my sis told me im strong..
n tat in order to see a rainbow i haf to stand a little rain..
this is my rain.. no, my storm..
i dun wana elaborate further..
mom reli hurt my feelings…
i donno wat to sae anymore..
haiz..

just wanna thank lenny and the magnies for makin me fell like im a part of them… they cheered for me.. took picture of me whn i got my cert.. they r reli nice… thanks to all those hu haf bin with me during the course.. hong, candy shasha, riz, shafique, ain n redz.. magnum too many to mention la.. haha..
well guys.. thanks!!!
thanks a million!!!
its been great!!!

CURSED SHADOWS & a whole load of fun…

kk..
had the first day of the IFC workshop today…
so damn fun..
but tiring…
did toss to hands..
but with the help of hong….
cannot la..
he too strong…
nxt tym ask joe to help..
he still beginner…
so shud be tougher for me…
the japan cheerleaders r like so hyper…
n one of them so damn bloody cute….
and again…
as usual..
me n hong again was attracted to the same gurl…
this boy ar…
kpoh ar..
hehe..

-CURSED SHADOWS-

kk… a fren n i are formin a band…
yup..
i’ll be vocals…
my fren will be the lead guitarist…
then another fren is the drummer…
another guy our second guitarist..
now we just nid a female bassist…
ader la sebab sebab nye….
haha….
damn i cant wait for us to start cursing!!!
i mean.. jamming… haha….
be prepared to be cursed…
haha…
macam btol jek aku…
well..
i reli hope this band is a success…
i wana haf our own originals too u noe…
it will be superb….
watever it is…
we’ll carry on……..

gtg…
bubbye!

im sorry..

im sayin sori,
not bcoz im wrong.
but bcoz im stupid.
stupid enuf to not realise tat my sis is sufferin.
im useless..
i feel like crap now.
why?
why am i made like this?
i alwaez ask myself.
why am i fat,
why am i not blessed with looks,
why cant i be smart,
why cant i be with my sis whn she needs me?
she is all alone n here i am enjoyin myself?
how selfish can i be?
why am i born useless?
im sorry kak.
i reli am.
im never thr for u.
u r so hurt n yet u nvr show it.
n me? as ur bro, i didn even c it.
fairul wake up.
pls.
fuck the world.
fuck them all.
my sis is all i haf n she is all tat i want.
im so sorry…
she is all i have.
no one else.
no one else at all.
my mom, well, her priority is, her overseas call.
thn its us…
papa, is workin. he too is sufferin.
always comin home with his back hurt…
i pity them.
yes.
but do they take the time to know me?
does anyone know me at all?
no.
only my sis.
the only one hu noes me inside out.
i dun care if u r sum big shot gangster or wat.
hurt my sis, u haf to hurt me first.
i’ll sae this once n i’ll keep sayin it.
i will die for her!
hit me, beat me, kill me.
hu cares.
as long as she is safe,
i sleep peacefully at night…
fuck all of u who haf hurt her.
fuck u big time.
i love her n i god damn hate it whn she is hurt.
me?
if im hurt i dun care!!!
i want my sis
safe,
healthy
& happy.
if i ever die before her,
im still watchin over her.
dun u assholes think of harming her…
dont.

kakak,
im sori.
forgive me for not bein thr for u.
im sori.
i reli am…
im sorry…

-fairul edham hirdayat.

i write in tears as i see her in pain,
i may sound crazy n insane.
but its her tat i love n its her tat i care for,
i will die for her even if heaven closes its doors.

my sister dear, im truly sorry,
forgive me for always bein in a hurry.
i may not be there to run my fingers in your hair,
but ultimately, no matter where i am,
i truly deeply care…

i love u my sister dear…
-nurul ain dwiwangi-
irreplaceble and unerasable in my heart.

tired…

so tired sia today…
worked from 8-5 u noe…
lucky get to sit for a few minutes cause i haf to fold the menu..
haha..
i did hosting at station one.. i didn get to take alot of orders…
cause i was busy usherin people in…
then when i wana take order must clean the tables..
arghh…
but i learn sumthin new again..
i get to learn the cashier…
cool…
next i wan to do runner la..
so easy…
haha…
k la..tired ar…
nytez people…