time-off!!!

time off means..
u leave me alone.. i leave u alone..
u dun bother me.. i dun bother u..
currently we are not together so there is no us..
no anniversary watsoever…
u r single 4 now.. yes..
if u kip botherin me.. where the hell is my time off?
go haf fun while u can..
if u feel like u wana b in a realtionship with tat guy.. go ahead..
since he cares so much about you and he is always there for you..
im not bein sarcastic…
im serious and sincere..
go ahead..
no point clinging on…
since u find him so much better..
thn go ahead la…
watever it is…
i wish you all the best…
may he not be as bad as me..
as cruel as me..
as mean as me..
as heartless as me..
as stupid as me..
as fat as me..
as ugly as me..
or watever tats wrong in me..
i just hope tat he is perfect for you…
ok?
GO!

i mean..
ok go!
tats all for tonight..

so long and good night…
so long…. and.. good night……..

clueless & dying….

woah…
seriously..
i finally find tym to blog..
alot haf just been goin on..
alot…
my mind is everywhere..
firstly…
cheerobics..
hais..
k..
lets not talk about it…
it just hurts even more..

currently..
im on a relationship time off..
whr i will go frm thr..
i reli dont noe..
i just dono weather its me or her..
how wud u feel whn ur girlfrien blogs about another guy?
wat does tat tell u?
i dono la..
maybe im just bein over sensitive..
but still..
arghhh
i just nid a break la..
im werkin 2 freakin job..
yet i haf no money..
transportation is killin me n i i got bill to pay.. prac to pay and alot la..
crazy la..
cheerleading is stressfull..
no..
not reli la..
its the ppl..
not my team of coz..
d’zest is great..
im new with them as im helpin out a friend of mine..
and they r.. wow..
reli…
they are my pain killer..
its fun to b with thm and around thm..
this years cheerobics may haf not been on their side..
tats ok..
at least ppl saw wat they are made of…
ppl noe who is good and who is not…
watever it is..
they are champions to me..
seriously.. i might have just broken down n gave up cheerleading..
they have gotten back up and is now as happy as ever..
so proud to them..

hais..
dono wat else to blog about…
erghhhh
i just haf so much in mind la..
like i said before.. i dun share my probs so i guess i will just blog it out la eh..

my band is in tapestry..
hell yea…
hopefully i can pull of the covers la..
the songs range we haf selected quite high for me la..
but i will try aite guys??
im tryin..
i just nid confidence la..

ppl kip sayin im not fat anymore but i see the mirror..
still fat leh…
i dono..
confidence is my weakness…

im tryin so hard to lose weight but i still see tat there is no difference..
i use to weigh 85.. thn 75.. thn 70… thn 69.. thn nw 66…
yet some ppl still call me fat…
i guess tats y i still tink im fat…
sum say thin sum say fat..
see la..
i only hear the negative u noe..
how much more must i lose to make those heartles ppl shut up?
my waist already went down from 38 to 38 thn 34.. now im 31!!!
how much more???
erghhh
but i think tats my fault la..
its in the genes…
my waist is huge… thanks to that fat ass hu died recently..
y must i have his genes???
erg…
i hate…
my fat ass..
my fat thigh…
my fat waist..
my fat face…
and..
i think i have boobies..
do i??
i dono..
maybe its too much chicken la..

erghhh..
i just wana b.. thin…
y cant i??
i dono..
pls suck out the fat genes from me..
so pll can stop callin me fat..
its degradin and its hurtin…

maybe i shud go vegetarian…
but cannot la..
i love beef..
i already stop eatin chocolates for almost a year…
and i haf no plans on goin back..
i kinda forgot wat it taste like actually..
haha..

k la..
i can go on forever…
lalala

thanks for ur time..
and if u think of callin me fat then dun bother readin la..
go disturb sumone else…

cursing again…

10 june 07..
farkin happenin day…
after all the practises n jam n sessions…
it was the day we got to strut our stuff…
we went for our tapestry audition…
it well well…
i hope.. hehe…
my band mates n i cant freakin wait 4 the results la…
hopefully it will turn out great coz we haf an outing after checking the results..
i dun wan us to be moody n stuff whn we go bowlimg a noe…
i wan it to be a happy day again..
damn i love my band…
if we get thru..
this will be a great begginin for CURSED SHADOWS..
i want it bad man!!!
dang im goin crazy…
all i can think off is tis sunday…
arghhhhhhhhhhhhh…

TEAM!!!
BAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!

wooohooooooo!!!!!

great gathering

i had my class gatherin on friday 1st june..
and it was super great….

its bin such a long tym since we last met..
n whn we are together…
we go crazy…
seriously..
we got thr but sum was already headin home..

exchange hi’s hugs n goodbyes n we went back to the pit..
we started our happy hour at 12plus  think..
in which fadel got drunk reli fast…

he started mumbling nonsense like sayin his mom is illegal n stuff..
thn…
karym was hesitant to drink… but someone apparently managed to get him to drink..

i left the table to talk to andre and jan and whn i got back………
karym finished the whole bottle!!!!
wat the hell??
he drank it neat!!!!!!
idiot!!!
worst…
he got drunk..

reli reli reli drunk..
it was hell man takin care of him…
but still.. thrs worst..
nizam kept drinkin n drinkin n he got drunk…
check out the pics man……
we were havin a blast laughin…