so much for month of happiness…

things haven been really well lately…
mostly i feel like crap…
like reli crappy..
firstly..
hari raya this year is the most depressing ever…
preparation is not the same..
we r no longer at home cutting vege and meat for the food..
or watchin over the fire while cookin the ketupat outside our house..
we r not at geylang together shoppin for new stuff..
worst still.. were not at home to listen to the takbir together..
it reli hurts whn everything just changes like that..
i noe its hard but.. i dun seem to be able to absorb all this..
i mean, its like totally different then before..
poor dad is stuck in the hospital..
and mom is there everyday watchin him..
it hurts alot la..
i try not to show it..

skul is even more stressful.
workload is addin on like mountains..
im hopin to clear it all before semester break and before the submission for grading..
gosh i have alot to do man..

relationship..
……….

im hopin it will be fine…

it hurts alot tho…

i miss u so god damn much…

thats all im gona sae…

i love u alot too.. :’(

but hey,
u stil love me n yes i do too…
its just different..
we dun spend tym together already…………
my sis wants u to kam over coz the house is nice already..
i always wanted to ask u bt i duno if u wud want to..
i cleaned my room already btw…
its not as nice as u wud expect it.. but hey..
at least i have a room now ryte??

baby if u happen to read this…
i juz wan u 2 noe tat i love u alot..
yes im tryin so hard but it seems as tho ur pushin me away everytym..
its ok..
i will give u tym bi..
i just cant figure out wat went wrong.. why the sudden change..
i just cant get it out of my head…
it hurts alot.. but im willing to take the pain…
watever it is..
u noe im here for u all the time bi..
u noe i will always be here…
i love u alot bi..
hope u feel the same way too…
:’(