lost..

its amazing how our emotions and feelings can take control over our body..

i mean..

sometimes you try so hard to hide how you feel yet your body language somehow shows otherwise..

i couldn sleep tonight…

i kept getting up..

no..
not coz of the noise made by my roomates..
but because of the constant thinking my mind was doing..
my mind ws not at rest tonight..
having so many questions un answered was reli bothering me..

i was so disturbed tat i got up at 8.. checked my phone.. and laid on my bed again..
still.. i cud not sleeep..

finally got out of bed at 9 plus and just sat down thinking..

i didneat much yesterday..

no..
not coz i was not hungry..

i was fuckin hungry..

i just din haf the appetite to eat..

met my sis after so long..
and updated her…
still…
i didn tell her much…
didn reli tell her how i was feeling..
kinda weird la tokin to her bout this stuff..

im just afraid that i ruined everything by sayin all those stuff..
i mean.. the message i sent.. i reli hope it does not affect our friendship…

on the day tat u were leavin, i was somehow reli reli reli bothered,..
i waas so bothered to the point whr my housemate brina noticed.. and asked me y was i so quiet today..
and all i saed was.. “nothin much to talk about wat…”
i reli didn realise tat my emotions were showing…

im just feeling reli lost now..

i feel as tho im left hanging..
but thn again..
we haf no strings attached..
perhaps its just me huh?

like they say.. it takes two hands to clap..
i found my other hand..
yet…
hais..

i shal just be patient i guess..

i shal just wait for my phone to ring.. and whn i see your name, at least.. i get to smile again…

lonely tymz…

okay…
so..
still..
no answer…
i dono..
maybe its not tym..
not meant to be..
or just..
i dono…
the call you gave me b4 flying off seriously meant alot to me..
im gona miss all the messages…
i mean..
ur the only one i msg on a daily basis…
other thn tat my phone is pretty quiet..
so i guess my quiet tym has returned…
no more goin out for me then…
hopefully u wont forget me whn ur back in singapore…

im gona miss u alot..
i reli hope nothing changes..
reli…

take care…

its you

its hard whn i cant tell you how i feel..
its hard whn i get to see you but i can say how i truly feel..
its hard whn i can tok to you but i cant say wat i wana say..
it gets even harder whn ur goin away..
meaning..
my feelings…
will be kept inside even longer..
as silent as i can be..
it does hurt alot to love and not to be loved back in return..
i dun ask for it…
it just hurts.. tats all..
but,
gettin to spend tym with u sumhow helps… for awhile..
ur smile…
ur behaviour…
its just you…
i seriously wana lt u noewat im feeling and tat i have been falling for you since…
i wana let you know tat ur the one tat i have been talkin about…
i want u to noe tat im thr coz i wana see you…
i want u 2 noe tat im really fallin 4 u…
but…

its really hard…
really…
coz i reli dun think tat u will feel the same way as i do…
and if i hear it frm u…
it will just hurt..
tats y im holdin back and just kipin it to myself for the mean tym..
i will keep holdin on until….
i dono….
i just dun wana get hurt la..
tats all…

like the words of “ENCHANTED”
i’ve been dreaming of a true love kiss…
true love kiss.. its the most powerful thing in the world..

hais…

frm the first time i saw u..
to the first time i met u..
to the first time we spoke..
to the first sms..
to the first everything la..
its all still fresh and vivid in me..

hais..
this feeling is sooooo……..
i dono la…
im just really falling for u ok?

god noes how i feel…
oh ya..
and gee too…
haha…
ok la..
enuf for now..
i dun wana be emo….
haha…

you give me something

You only stay with me in the morning,
You only hold me when I sleep,
I was meant to tread the water,
But now I’ve gotten in too deep,
For every piece of me that wants you,
Another piece backs away.

‘Cause you give me something,
That makes me scared alright,
This could be nothing,
But I’m willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
Cause someday I might know in my heart.

You only waited out for hours,
Just to spend a little time alone with me,
And I can say I’ve never bought you
flowers,
I can’t work out what they mean,
I’d never thought that I’d love someone,
That was someone elses dream.

‘Cause you give me something,
That makes me scared alright,
This could be nothing,
But I’m willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
Cause someday I might call you from my
heart.

But it might be a second too late,
And the words that I could never say,
Are gonna come out anyway.

‘Caus e you give me something,
That makes me scared alright,
This could be nothing,
But I’m willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,

Oh ‘Cause you give me something,
That makes me scared alright,
This could be nothing,
But I’m willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
Cause someday I might know in my heart.

Know in my heart,
Know in my heart,
Know in my heart.

pickin up the pieces

okay…
finaly… fairul is updating his bloody blog..
have been stayin at burlington square with grace for like a month i think..
shitload of fun shit load of probs and shitload of people..
issues piling up everyday coz sum people just choose to runaway from problems..
money kips goin missing..
like.. wtf??
so.. yea.. fuck it..
anyways..
our college reality tv life will be over soon..
grace is leavin on thursday..
i dono y..
but..
im reli reli sad..
grace is a really really nice girl..
her havin to leave is reli hard for me..
the house started with four people.. then five.. then eight. then eleven..
sometimes there will be bout 13 to 15 ppl in the house.. doin werk is never easy…
we are tryin to help each other.. but.. sum ppl just had to make things hard by sittin their ass down like he had no part in this fam..
fuck it..
next week is review week n i still have shitloads to do..
its tough..
im easily distracted..
i wana do werk..
but i get tired easily…
haha..

life..
hasnt been very easy but living here with friends tat im close with makes it a lil better..
plus..
i made new friends..
someone in particular is sumone hu i haf had an eye on…
i dono..
its hard to talk bout it here la..
i like you… i do..
but i dono how you feel..
so.
yea..
lets just let things flow like how it wants to flow..
wakin up to see someone actually cares is reli nice..
y?
coz my ex dun gif a fuck…
period!
the care and concern showerd to me.. deeply appreciated..
haiz…
i reli dono okay..
coz im fat n im afraid of rejection.. so..
i shal not be the one to ask the stupid question..
life is tough.. love is tougher..

i miss my sis loads…
coz i can talk to her..
i feel bad tho coz i left her alone at home..
but i reli nid to get my werk done so i dun haf a choice..
i will be back soon sis..
i miss you…

this saturday…
wait..
tats tomorrow..
haha..
i have alot in store..
so i will be reli busy tomorrow..
hais.
i reli hope i can make it to gee n jojo’s performance…
i reli do.
i reli reli do…
i miss them loads…
hell loads..

ok..
im off now,..
wana get on with my freakin werk…
hais….