thrs alot i wish to sae..
im just holdin back cause sum ppl juz cant take the truth..

its just reli hard….
i try so hard to cater to the needs of my friends… but the moment they snap… they just snap.. they dont care wat i have ever done for them.. im not askin for anythin in return..
reli..
just be nice…

here i am goin thru alot as well.. i just dont fuckin show it so dont assume that im fine or that im happy…
now, its just so hard to talk…
u dun seem interested.. u act like u arr.. i can tell..
but seriously, i noe u dun gif a fuck.
u noe wat..
4get it thn..
i haf my personal blog so i shall talk to my blog..
cause..
my blog wont complain..
my blog wont treat me differently…
yea..
all i haf is my blog and someone..
yea..
tats it..

i guess thats it..
if u truly care..
thn care..
cause im tired of caring and givin and compromisin whn all u can tink of is urself.

i dun wish to be mean.
reli.
i just cant hold it in..
i just dun wish to sae it in ur face..
cause..
it wont be nice…

i noe..
i noe too well…

anyways…

i so love this song..
the words are just beautiful…

glenn lewis- fall again

Feels like a fire that burns in my heart
Every single moment that we spend apart
I need you around for every day to start
I haven’t left you alone
There’s something about you, I stare in your eyes
And everything I’m looking for I seem to find
All this time away is killing me inside
I need your love in my life

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall in you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

Ohhhh (etc.)

We fought in a battle, nobody one
And now we face a mountain to be overcome
You can’t turn away, the past is said and done
I need us to carry on

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall with you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

la la la la la, whoa (etc.)

You’ll try everything you never thought would work before
When you live, when you love, and you give them your all
You can always give up some more
Baby nothing means anything unless you’re here to share with me
I can breathe, I can bleed, I can die in my sleep
Cause you’re always there in my dreams

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall with you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

I wanna spend time till it ends
I wanna fall with you again
Like we did when we first met
I wanna fall with you again

Ohh, la la la (etc.)

You again

birthday blues…

all i want for my birthday is to be with YOU…
on the ferris wheel at esplanade…
just us at the top of the world…
i just want to be with you..
coz no one else seems to care…

i just wana b with you…

i miss you bou…

never did i saw this cumin..

i knew the day wud come..
but not this soon..

it was the 31st of jan..
past midnyte..
met up wit hakim n my sis to go for supper nearby….
so we went out..
my cat bou loved to follow us around.. and she was following us all the way..
i tried to ask her to go back but sumhow tat nyte..
she kept following..
we made our way to the bus stop.. i looked back n i saw her cumin out of the usual bridge whr she usually stops..
so i went back n scare her off..
little did i know..
she was still thr..
hidin by the side of the bridge..
as we sat and wait for our bus.. i thn saw bou moved closer to the road..
i wasn reli bothered coz she was usually scared off by passer by or cars especially..
but this nyte..
this oh so painful nyte..
she chose to cross the road..
she made her way to the middle of the road whr a van came..
and i think she got scared..

…..
she tried to run back…
and there..
right before my eyes…
the van ran over her..

i ran..
i was trembling..
my heart was pounding…
there..
i saw my cat.. helplessly lying on the road shivering and shaking in pain..
i lifted her up as she struggled in my arms..
i cud feel her pain…
i held her tyte in my arms..
i felt so helpless..
there was nothin i can do..
we sat by the block and i just held her tyte n kept her warm.
something told me..
it was her tym to go..
i held my emotions in,..
its whn my mom came..’
i cried..
it was too painful..
there she was in my arms..
as her life is slowly bein pulled away..
she was strong..
she kept her eyes open..
mom saed..
she has to go.. but she stil wana see us..
i kept tearing..
i cudn stop..

bou my dear cat..
i stil remember the day i brought u home..
u were a little kitten..
so small i kept u in my palms..
we celebrated hari raya together too..
she had her yellow top while the whole family dressed in yellow too..
she even gave birth to 4 kittens next to me..
i remebered so clearly how she woke me up.. just to give birth next to me..
i still remember her calls whn she see’s me cumin home frm across the field..
i still remember the days u were naughty.
i still remember the days u wud go crazy n start runnin around… i will always remember you my dear..

we thn walked home with bou still in my arms…
i sat outside my house..
n just held her tyte.
flamingo was nice enuf to haf the initiave to come n visit her together with brina and grace..
thank you guys..
she will remember you im sure..
i thn dug a hole with a heavy heart..
knowin i have to part with bou..
it was so painful..
with the hole dug..
i thn took her in my arms one last time before i say goodbye..
i kissed her n hugged her…
i saed my prayers for her…
n finally.. covered her up…
my sis just cudn accept the fact tat bou is gone..
its just as painful for her i guess..
we placed her in  the hole..
and covered her up..
it was so painful..
havin to do it itself is reli painful..
but i guess its wat god wants..
its her time to go..

im reli sorry bou..
im reli sorry… :’(
she’s in heaven i noe..
she’s a gud gurl..
she has retured to whom have created her..
may you rest in peace bou…
im reli gona miss you…
and i love you till i die…

i love you bou..
you will be remembered no matter what…
2000-2008